EVERYBODY knows (or should) that you DO. NOT. STOP. in Vidor, Texas.
It’s best to just run out of gas elsewhere. Whatever you do, black folks, DO NOT STOP IN VIDOR, TEXAS.
There’s a good chance you’ll get lynched or just come up missing - and I’m not joking.
also do NOT stop in Harrison, Arkansas!!!! (relatively close to OK and MI) a nazi town with a BIG KKK organization.
Reblog To Save Life
Okay but like reblog to LITERALLY SAVE SOMEONE’S LIFE
During orientation they warn the international students not to go to Harrison because they could get shot. It’s really that fucked up. I deeply despise it. DO NOT GO THERE.
Getting old means you schedule booty calls with your fwb early as fuck cause you get sleepy at 10pm
Eating ass by twilight
The Netflix and Chill Timeframe
Get off work at 5. Get home around 5:30. Send the “wyd” text at 5:33. Set the Netflix up at 5:36. Give her until 5:45 to respond. She responds promptly because she’s had a long day and wants some dick. Go take a shower around 6:00 because she’ll be here around 7:00. Get out clean as a whistle but put no draws on under your sweat pants for obvious reasons at 6:45 She pulls up at 7:12 which is good because you just finished your leftovers in the fridge Small talk should be done by 7:30 By 7:45 ya’ll should be in bed getting ready to chill It’s 8:10 before she picks the movie (which makes no sense because she knows she ain’t gonna watch it anyway.) By 8:45 you’ll be well within foreplay By 9:00 you’re fucking By 9:37 you’re done and she’s cleaning up and getting dressed By 9:43 you’ve seen her to the door and you go back to the bathroom to brush your teeth and wash your face So by 10:00pm you’re in bed ready to go be a faithful black man tomorrow
Apply to a job, wait (1) day, then call. Give them your first and last name. Tell them you submitted an application and that you’re very motivated to find [Enter field name] work. Let the conversation lead you wherever it takes. Be very polite. Say” thank you for your time, I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.” Rinse, repeat. This is to force them to be looking out for your application.
When you get to the interview, shake their hand firmly, tell them your first and last name.
Describe your experiences as “ two years transcription and data entry” if you have a desk job interview and “ [however many years] costumer service, retail and stock” for your retail jobs.
Don’t use job “ buzz words” I stg they hear them all day. Say things like, “ I’m detail oriented and am very good at taking instruction.” “ I would like to work for a company with integrity and I feel that [ company name] would be a good fit”
When they ask you if you have “reliable transportation” say YES. don’t tell them what kind of transportation, just say yes. (if you don’t do this, you wont get the job , I’m telling you right now).
Research the company. Know what they do, why they do it, how OLD the company is. WHERE it was founded, and what kind of position you’re intending to apply for.
When they ask you “ give us a situation where you had to blah blah blah” Make one the fuck up. Make yourself sound good as hell, and like you put your company’s needs slightly above the customer’s needs, but make the customer happy.
If they ask you about being outgoing, Say you “like to focus on your work so you can concentrate on doing things right” (which buys you out of having to act friendly all the time)
Questions for after the interview:
1. Does this position offer upward mobility?
2. Do you enjoy working for the company? (if you’re not interviewing for a temp agency who will send you anywhere)
Then, shake their hand, Ask them to repeat their name (REMEMBER THIS) say thank you for your time, wish them a nice day and leave. write their name down outside if you have to, just remember the fuck out of it.
AFTER your interview, send a card directed to the name of the person who interviewed you (I’ll give you them) that says “Thank you for the interview, I appreciate the opportunity. have a great day” This shows that you have an understanding of professionalism, and will have them thinking of you kindly (or at least remembering you) when they’re shuffling through the choices.
DO NOT tell them you just moved to the city over the phone. In person, tell them you just moved to the city. Make it sound like the only reason you need a job is because you moved. Not because you’re desperate.
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The titles of each section are key words you can use to search for jobs on Snagajob.com and Simplyhired.
